A life in ribbons...

   Tonight as she lay sleeping I sorted through my daughter's hair ribbons.She starts school tomorrow. There were a lot of ribbons and I was looking for just the right one for her first day. One of them was mine from when I was small. I held it and remembered my mother teaching my how to roll it up and stick a straight pin in it to hold it in place. I would be so careful when trying to pick one out of my own basket but somehow always managed to prick a finger. My method now is far more crude. Then I came across the small bow that had been her first; the one the nurse had stuck on her head with KY Jelly when she was only a few hours old! Gross! I'm sorry but you should not encounter KY Jelly until you are much older!

   Slowly, as I looked at all those ribbons lying there on the floor, her life began to unfurl; a pink satin ribbon I'd bought to match an Easter dress, stripped grosgrain from a mermaid birthday costume, rich brown ones that had been lovingly tied onto birthday gifts from dear friends (you just have to love a real ribbon on a gift!), remnants of bows we had attached to friend's baby shower invites and some thin champagne colored stuff from bouquets... as they curled around me I realized I was seeing my daughter's life in ribbons. And what a beautiful life it has been.

  Tomorrow we will send her off to begin a new loop in that life. I wonder what colors and textures it will hold. Will this new experience be wound tightly around her? Will it be wide and flowing? I can only hope that we will all look back on  with as much fondness as that which has already passed. And yes, I did choose RED ribbons for tomorrow! "When in doubt, wear red!" (Bill Blass)

Thwarted plans...

Oh the plans that we make for a summer
submersion, breathing, swinging...

How quickly it can change!

the wailing you never expect to hear
your child's body broken crying from the soul
wanting to be the one hurt instead














the expectations of the worst
the pushing to make normalcy out of a catastrophe

then in the agony of healing

beyond the unexpected

the realization

the disbelief

what have we done?

is there anything to show for this beyond pale facades?

healed bones? tightly knitted bonds?

To market, to market to buy...

strawberries!

pints, and quarts and gallons of them

many stained fingers and lips

time with granna

and a mermaid balloon

my guy

you just have to love a boy in cowboy boots!

(yes, I did make him put on his "underwears" before I took this shot)

this stage where they live in their costumes is one of my favorites

look at that face. he believes that he is tough

"Mom, I am not Henry. I am a guy!"

if you met her face to face you would never think that she is shy

everything she does is very emphatic and full of charisma
there is never any mystery to what goes on with Bea
for instance, today she came to me with a radiant look on her face
"God just talked to me!" she exclaimed
"really? what did he say?"
"my nose itched so I scratched it..
and then God told me to remember, 'don't pick your nose!'"
but until now, when she got in front of a crowd she froze

we couldn't help but wonder how could this be the same child

was there something we were missing?

so imagine our relief when at her program this morning she sang her little heart out

whew...

she also waved at everyone she knew about five times

that is the girl we know!

Most Special Things About Mama:

Henry - play race cars with Mama and cake, like to go bathroom with Mama
Bea - I love Mama. I like to sleep with her in the middle. I like to play with her. I love to go on dates with her with no boys and sometimes I like to go on errands. I love to sit by her while we eat.
Gus - Mama is so nice. I love mama. I like to go watch movies with Mom.
Papa - Mama gives us her time, energy and love. She is the first one we turn to when we are hurt or afraid.
I love you dear. You are a wonderful mother. Thank you for giving yourself so freely to us all.

Happy Mother's Day!

Scarlett Eirawen

it was an unusually warm day in may when you were born

we had all partied for cinco de mayo the night before
your mom was so ready to hold you in her arms

I drove her because your daddy was out on a really long bike ride

he showed up just in time for your grand entrance though

and what an entrance it was

we told the nurses it was going to be quick

your mama had been through that before
she barely made it for your sister's birth
then there you were
it was so quick your head wasn't even squished
a head with more hair than you brother and sister
they didn't even have time to call the midwife
the nurse caught you as you slid out

your brother and sister were playing with bubbles when your dad called to tell them you were here

a pink wiggling baby girl!

you are beautiful
I am so glad that I was able to witness your birth

and I can't wait to get to know you...

Getting Around St. George's

never before on vacation have we had such a wide variety of transportation available to us
it has definitely been one of the highlights of this trip
our favorite mode? the mule! our very own 4wd golf cart
the kids take turns being the "driver"
my least favorite? the kayak! it kills my back
still there is nothing that compares to being out on the water

a two year-old's view of vacation

St. George's Island 2010 

by Henry

then and now in swimsuits

besides the fact that my kids are still wearing the same swimsuits...

this is pretty astounding

they have changed so much in two years

2009 in holbox (5, 2 and 9 months)

2011 in st. george (8, 4 and 2)

the baby was barely begining to walk

my girl just able to trot around

now they are no longer little

how breathtaking to see their growth in such a tangible way

I miss those babies

but oh, what fun we have now!

Dr. E. B. Carter

we all have secret ambitions for our children
usually they are the ones we have yet to fulfill ourselves
mine for my daughter is that she will help bring babies into the world
so we talk a lot about the mechanics of such things at our home
today she asked a neighbor who is not pregnant if she was...
oops!
when the neighbor told her that she was not, my daughter replied,
"don't worry, when you finish nursing that baby hump will go away!"
needless to say, she still has a bit to learn about bedside manner.

a past time

we took the kids to a baseball game

on our way coach reminded me of days past

we used to attend a lot of ball games before we had kids

at the games we would see my roommate and my brother

"remember when we would see brian and katie?" he asked me

they would be sitting out in the outfield

my brother without his shirt, KT in a tube top

working on their tans

we would laugh and wave

they were the only ones out there

now eight years later they are married and we all have kids

the days of sitting on a sunday afternoon at a game soaking up rays is long past

if only we had know then what a luxury just "sitting" would become

for now we only wish we could all be at a game together

at least we could slather sunscreen on the kids,

watch them wait patiently for foul balls and throw cracker jacks at each other

because before we know it, the days of "sitting" and watching the game will be here again

just as now we are longing for those leisurely days of dating

then we will be reminiscing about times past with the kids

Late Friday Night

I can remember a day when the last thing I did on Friday night did NOT include looking for cleats...

I cannot say that it was more worthwhile but it might have been more exciting!

Egg Hunt at the Club

ready for our annual pre-easter hunt

it's good practice for the real hunt the next day!

we lost henry half-way thorough when he realized there was candy in the eggs!

being "sooooo" gentle

no longer afraid of the bunny
I guess you have to turn three

my sunshine girl!

and cute aunt danielle in the back

a meal for all

all three children and friends were a part of a passover celebration tonight
they were all finally old enough to a least listen to the story and enjoy the rituals
and some might have understood the symbols
the very oldest kids seemed to even grasp what it means for each of them personally
their answers to the five questions showed as much
of course by the end of the meal there were babies under the table and kids dying to be excused
but all in all I'm so glad we took he time to include them
next year we'll know much more clearly what needs special planning

dipping bitter herbs in tears

enjoying the very last drop

I was the one who got in trouble today

my son found out that I put

"No gifts please!" on his birthday party invite!

you think it's a inconvenient when they can figure out what you're spelling

it's twice the pain when they learn to read

we have to work a lot harder to keep things secret

the birthday package from my parents in Japan?

"Mom, it says there's a lure in here! Can I open it?"

package on the front porch?

"That's from lego. It's for my birthday isn't it?"

and today when he saw the invite, "Moommmmmm!"

you get the idea...

so I'm off the have "that" talk again.

BIG trouble

in the bath tonight my B was trying to keep her hair dry
but of course, as always, it got wet
"that's not SUCH big trouble" she said
"now if your arm was torn off... THAT would be BIG trouble!"
it instantly reminded me of being in labor
they always ask about pain
how is it? what is it on a scale of one to ten?
all in an attempt to convince you that you are not meant to be doing this unaided
the first time I was asked this question I was in hard labor
my response to the pushy nurse was
"about a four! if I was lying in a ditch, my limbs cut off and in labor... that might be a nine!"
Coach apologized and said, "she has a big imagination."
so I'm glad to see that my daughter can also imagine worse
you could always be in bigger trouble than you already are!

Coming Across the Wedding Towels

sometimes an unfortunate event will turn out to be just what you needed
that was the case today when my daughter decided to empty my linen closet yesterday
well not "empty" more like.. no it was "empty"
she wanted "baby blankets" for her dolls
and I told her she could use them
little did I know that she would climb up onto the shelves in the closet
and root around until she found all the little girl blankets,
knock all the other blankets down when she pulled them out
and walk over them several times carrying hers back and forth
I had little choice but to take the rest of the things out and start from scratch
in the process I once again came across a set of beautiful virgin white towels

the coach and I were given these towels for our wedding
we have yet to use these towels
I just can't stand the thought of grubby little hands getting a hold of them
every so often I will take them out and contemplate putting them into circulation
then I quickly put them back in their drawers
and we continue using the old ones
often I am upset when I find my family members using our beach towels
most likely it's my fault for hiding the nice ones, not turning over laundry often enough
and leaving an unorganized closet
now there will be no excuses
the closet looks quite presentable
and tomorrow go and buy a set of towels that are navy or some such color